piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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