i was born a porn star she said
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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