I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
