I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
