new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
