I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
