this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
