grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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