He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
