Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
