I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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