There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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