Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
