Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Mom said you looked used
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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