There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
