he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
