he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
