I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
