i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
