Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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