Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
