is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize