between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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