Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
