I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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