what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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