i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
