My friends, they love my intelligence
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
