even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
