Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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