..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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