I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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