I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
