You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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