Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
