So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Couch. On fire.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
