you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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