she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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