That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
