Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
