They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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