My nipple is on Facebook.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
