Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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