I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
