I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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