She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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