Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
