i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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