That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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