Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
