No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she looked like the before picture.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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