brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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