Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
