I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
