I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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