absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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