It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
